Tristan + Isolde (2003)
This movie is set after the Romans have left England, probably somewhere in the 6th century. One cannot be sure since the movie is based on a poem (and different versions of it which appear starting with the XII century) and legends, not history.
Knowing that, this is what we find out at the beginning of the film: we are in Britain, in the Dark Ages. (Vth-XVth century...yeah, that is...a...long...time) The Roman Empire has fallen (that is true). The land is divided, etc.
And now I quote: "To the West, Ireland has flourished-untouched by the Romans, protected by the sea." Now, what is wrong with this sentence? England/Britain IS ALSO PROTECTED BY THE SEA, it is an island too, yet the Romans had conquered. I mean, that is not a good reason at all. They should have told it was protected by the Irish soldiers (which is not very likely) or even by the Gods....this would have been better. Sailing, it is called sailing!!!!!!
Enough of geography, let's cut to the action. The Lords and Dukes of British tribes are having a reunion in Castle of Tantallon, in order to try and choose a leader, a king who would lead them against the Irish. The master of Tantallon, Tristan's father is suggesting that Lord Marke, the Duke of Cornwall (Rufus Sewell) should be king. Some of the Dukes are reluctant to sign the treaty, especially Wictred. (In fact Aragon, Tristan's father he seems to be the only one who truly wishes for Marke to be king,- and perhaps Marke himself-, so it's only natural that he would die first.). Once he was trying to form an alliance with some of the English Lords, but he failed. But the treaty cannot be signed, because they are interrupted by a sudden Irish attack. Someone must have told them about the reunion.
Do you remember Wictred (Mark Strong) ? Well, he is the one who has told the Irish about the reunion (the camera points at him when somebody asks how the Irish could know about their intentions of signing a treaty) and he is is the first to flee the scene of the fight.
Now, there are a bunch of things I don't get. Aragon tells to someone to take all of his men and guard the women. (He sucks at his job, by the way, because all the women get killed, including Aragon's own wife and Marke's pregnant wife too. Or was he protecting other women, while those in the room should have been protected by the Dukes present? Who knows...?) And now here's the part when we realise that Tristan is going to ruin many things. First, instead of staying behind as he should he grabs a knife because he wants to fight....considering that he is only 10 years old (I guess). In order to protect him, his father hides him under a trapdoor but Aragon is killed in the process. The first thing I fail to see is why can't he just hide the women and his son there is the first place? Did he just discover that trapdoor? Impossible!!!! After all, HE OWNS that freaking castle, she should have known about that trapdoor. But know, distracted by his son, he is killed, so there is one man less to protect the women. So they die too. When Tristan comes out of his shelter he is attacked by a man. He freezes, so Marke has to push him out of the way and he loses his right hand. He finally manages to kill the man, but the castle is destroyed. And I bet they had no insurance. (By the way, I just love how they call these buildings "castle". When I think of castle, I think of something with towers, made of stone. But these...these are made of wood.)
After this we cut to Castle of Dunluce, where the funeral of the Irish Queen is taking place. We learn that she has a daughter named Isolde and a jerk husband, who leaves the funeral to discuss politics. (Dunluce Castle is also a one-level building, it looks more like a huge shack, made of stone and wood.)
Tristan is adopted by Marke and his widowed sister, Edyth, who has a son of Tristan's age, Melot. They don't really like each other at first, but time will solve the problem.
By the way time. We cut to "9 years later" and see Tristan (James Franco) as a grown-up young man and Isolde (Sophia Myles) as the very beautiful, blonde Irish Princess. This is all well, but why 9 years? As I can tell there is no indication to the characters' age in this movie. It could have been 8 years, 10 years or even 11. We presume that Isolde is now 18, Tristan being 18-20. But nothing for sure. Again, why 9 years?
But there is something I consider a major mistake. Simon and Melot (Henry Cavill as Melot's adult version) show Tristan the trapdoor which leads to the old Roman tower, and when Melot opens the trapdoor and he looks like he's chewing something. As he has not been shown earlier eating anything, I just HAVE TO presume that he is chewing a...gum. Confusing really.
And so we cut to Ireland and back to Britain and so on and so forth, I can't keep track. The point is that Irish king is informed that these English savages have rebuilt the castle D'Or and now it is made of stone. Honestly I really love how they call the English "savages". 9 years ago the Irish went to Britain, killed a whole generation of men, destroyed the castles, they still terrorize the land and yet the English are the savages, who have managed to rebuild the castles (and invented chewing gum).
We can see Isolde as a grown up woman for the first time, who is wondering what is Britain like. Her maid says it is a land of grief and sorrow and terror and whatever. Again....the Irish have destroyed the English lands. Confusing.
And Isolde is informed she has to marry Morholt who is not a very appealing guy, thank heaven he dies. Tristan kills him and we are all happy. He is injured though and everybody thinks he is dead. Thus they built a ship for him and set it on fire. Fortunately though there is a storm or rain and he doesn't die.
He is found by Isolde at the Irish shores (what are the odds????) who is planning to run away to Britain in order to escape an unhappy marriage. She decides to hide and cure him. Her maid advises her not to tell him her name. Why???? Are there no other girls called Isolde? Or is she afraid that is going appear in the newspaper?
And again, we can tell that Tristan is sort of a jerk. He asks Isolde (who doesn't speak Irish, but after all, why should she?????) about her parents. She tells him that her mother is dead and she is the source of her kindness and her father would kill him in an instance. And she tells Tristan that she is a lady in waiting in the king's court. (Which is a smarter move than lying about names.)
Please, observe the funny, naive moment: Tristan tells Isolde that his parents died and she askes-"Of what?" It is really charming how she assumes that they died of natural causes. Given the one decade of war. And because he enjoys to make her feel bad, he says: "Of a different kind of Irish kindness." I mean MAAAAAAAAAN, she takes some risk when hiding you from authorities, and this is how you thank her? And don't worry people, it is going to get worse and worse.
And so obviously they fell in love and they spend together an...afternoon, I guess. You knoooow...Anyway, his boat is unfortunately discovered and is reported to the king. They also find Morholt's sword, since Tristan, as his slayer, was supposed to be "buried" with it. So now he has to run away, as he is wanted for killing the king's best general. Before running away Tristan asks Isolde to go with him, but she refuses, because.......Because......Really, why? She wanted to go anyway....Well, I guess if you have a good brainstorming about it, you might find this solution:
She is a princess, and he doesn't know it. If she would run away with him, the Irish king would sooner or later come to Britain in search for her....because she would obviously go there. And as we know, the king is not exactly a patient man, and he would probably cut Tristan's head off before he could explain the situation. And have yet another war. So I guess this is the reason why, mostly because she says something like they both knew this wasn't meant to be and she would be happy just knowing that he is alive thinking of her from time to time, but she cannot know that if he is dead. On the other hand, if she would be pregnant, that would not be a happy situation either. (It just like the 2009 Wuthering Heights movie. Cathy (Charlotte Reily) refuses tu run away with Heathcliff because she doesn't want to risk and lose her reputation...but later they make love, because...apparently this is NOT a reputation-risking action....)
to be continued....
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